Meet Author B.L. Logan
Credit: L. Malykhina
“I can’t stop chewing ice.”
Of all the vices to have picked up during the COVID-19 pandemic, chewing ice seems pretty innocuous. Don’t tell B.L. Logan that.
“It probably started as an iron deficiency, but the crunch is so soothing,” she laughed. “I’m at full-blown addiction levels these days. I’m afraid of what the dentist will say. I may not have teeth left after this year.”
Toothless or not, what a year (or two) it’s been.
When we last saw our resident author, Bee (as she’s often called), she’d just finished her debut novel, The Chameleon with a Sword, moved across the country, and was gearing up for her next project. And then the pandemic happened.
The Chameleon with a Sword debuted in the fall of 2019. Cover Credit: Damonza.
“It was like going underground to live in a bunker,” she recalled. “Everything normal stopped, and so many added stressors—personal, social, political, etc.—kicked into high gear. Feels like we’re all finally emerging and feeling the sun on our skin again.”
Like so many people, the pandemic changed Bee’s life.
“I’d moved to New England a few months before lockdown started. I was in a new city, still finding my bearings and suddenly, all the things you could do or were used to doing were gone. Added to that, some of my dearest friends are doctors and my worry for them was through the roof.”
Thinking about the pandemic and her life in the long term, Bee said she made some big changes.
“Unlike pretty much everyone I knew, I thought it would be at least a year-and-a-half until we were ‘normal’ again. I decided to finally get a dog, figuring 1.5 years was enough time for us to bond and work out the kinks. Only there were literally no dogs to adopt, so I ended up getting my dream dog—but as a puppy. Po is the definition of ‘a handful,’ but I love him and he brings so much joy to everyone he meets. He’s a huge (literally and figuratively) addition to my life and has changed the way I manage my time and energy. I’m not sure I have it down yet, but he’s absolutely made me a better person.”
As the U.S. faced a racial reckoning and Covid ravaged the world, Bee found herself at an unfamiliar crossroads.
“I had no hope left. And that was unprecedented in its destructiveness because I had always been someone with hope. Hope in the future, in myself, in my ability to make a difference— you name it. But seeing how unjustly and inhumanely Black people were being treated, seeing how certain populations of society didn’t care about the planet or future they were leaving their children, and witnessing the recklessness and selfishness people had during a time when we should’ve been coming together… it was just too much. I questioned everything, and then I beat myself up for not being where I wanted to be to help fight those problems, especially in comparison to [insert names here] writer/journalist/woman.”
“I had no hope left... and I had always been someone with hope.”
Unrealistic expectations compounded the sense of overwhelm.
“I’d been through so much in my life prior to the pandemic,” Bee said. “To not be able to pick myself up and carry on, to not feel joy from the simple things that had always given me pleasure— it was like something critical had broken inside me and I worried I’d never be able to fix it. And I became so frustrated that I couldn’t rebound like before, that it became this negative feedback loop that nearly broke me.”
During that time, “Everything had to pause. I couldn’t and didn’t really write. I couldn’t even read the way I used to. Although restrictions had started to ease up, my life was very simple. I woke up, took care of the dog, took care of myself (barely, at times), worked, rinsed and repeated. It was the first time in my life where I truly felt mundane and trapped.”
Po, the Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy, who turned Bee’s life upside down. “Po” is short for “Pyxis Orion Nautica”—a mash up of constellation names in honor of Bee’s “failed astronaut dreams.” Credit: B.L. Logan
Bee credits a number of factors for her recovery.
“I don’t know that I’m out of the hole yet. But, thanks to friends and therapy, I know I’m no longer sinking. Because of my dog, I had to face everyday, whether I wanted to or not. I couldn’t hide: we both had to eat and I was responsible for his welfare and happiness. Thank heavens for him because I had to keep going.”
With spring in the air and pandemic restrictions done, Bee hopes to get back into the groove she had pre-pandemic.
“It was like something critical had broken inside me and I worried I’d never be able to fix it.”
“My purpose has never changed—I know why I’m here and what I need to do with the time I have on Earth. I also know how close I came to losing it all, and what’s at stake for myself and the people I hope to have a positive impact on. So I fight. I fight to put distance between who I am today and that broken woman of yesteryear. To make sure I don’t slip back into that destructive headspace. Bit by bit, I think, my hope is returning. It doesn’t feel the same because it took such a beating over the past couple of years, but it’s there. And maybe that’s enough.”
As for the pandemic vice?
“One crisis at a time,” Bee laughed. “First I have to finish the novella I’m working on for The Chameleon with a Sword [TCWAS]! I like to think of it as a ‘thank you’ to everyone who walked with Leena and Mordecai through TCWAS.”
Reviews for The Chameleon with a Sword on NetGalley.
The novella will focus on one of the “crowd favorites” from TCWAS, as well as a new character.
Said Bee: “It picks up towards the end of TCWAS and takes us through life in their shoes. There are some important layers I wanted to explore and I’m so excited to do it through these characters. Readers can probably guess the identity of one of the characters, but the other one, I hope, will be a nice surprise. I’ll be working feverishly on it over the next few months, and [along with TitanFolio] will be revealing the book title and cover ahead of the publication date. It feels good to be back in the world of TCWAS. It was my ‘home’ for a over decade and there’s so much there to explore.”
The novella isn’t the only new thing on the horizon.
“TitanFolio has gotten a makeover, and we’re focusing being of better service to the TitanFolio community,” Bee explained. “Because I know intimately how vital hope is, we’re making it a priority to focus on inspirational and motivational content for our readers, writers and other creatives. I’m having so much fun creating materials and doing all the things I wished I could’ve done earlier on with TCWAS. The novella gives me a chance to try again, only this time, I’m coming to the table with the wisdom of experience behind me. And grace—I’m learning to extend myself grace as a person and a storyteller.”
She added: “And then, yes, eventually I will wean myself off of chewing ice and destroying my teeth.”
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The next installment in B.L. Logan’s The Chameleon with a Sword series is expected in 2023. Be sure to join our TitanFolio newsletter to get all the details, behind-the-scenes scoops and release date information.
This article was originally posted by TitanFolio Staff on 4/22/22